As time has gone on, and the more I stay home with the kids, the more I have become a homebody. I haven't always been this way. Before I had the children, it was so much easier to go out, and to travel. Even with just one it wasn't that difficult. Now though I seem to get anxiety with the mere thought of going to an unfamiliar place.

And my point?

Well I think we have decided to move near my husband's job. It's an area that i know of, and have been to a few times, (mostly in passing) just not home. I know it is likely what's best for now. Provided he stays in that area for a few years. But there is a portion of my fear that says he won't, that as soon as we settle into a new home he will be transferred back this way. That was always the plan before, and the higher ups at work know that. I worry that he will get his wish after we move. But then we would be in the same predicament we are currently in (maybe a little better since the home would be our own), with him driving a fair distance every day.


I do not wish to talk to my husband about this, as it was my idea to look near his store. I know he didn't want to move there, neither do I. But we just cannot keep having him commute so far. I prefer to see my husband, and have him awake. At this moment he comes home and automatically crashes.

On the other hand, I am trying to convince myself a move is the best thing for us. Maybe I will be able to connect with other pagans, and feel like I am not alone. It could be a great growth experience for me, as I don't know anyone there, and will either get off my butt and find people or stay home.

Doesn't mean that I wouldn't be thrilled if it was decided to stay in this area, and a perfect property became available.

I wish there was a magic spell that would help me know exactly what to choose, and my heart could settle down with that choice. I do not know of one, although I am sure there is something out there. Maybe I just need to meditate on it, and I will be able to figure it out from that.